she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
