so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
