I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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