its not stalking. its research.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
