Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
