There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
