before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
