id be glad to
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Everyone says I win the strip club
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
