I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Mom said you looked used
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
