I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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