do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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