Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we're making bets on your personal life
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
