apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
