i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i out mim tonsoeep
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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