I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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