I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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