Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
