Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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