Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
