he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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