I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
