I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
