Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
