so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
3 2 1 whiskey
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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