omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
