i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
