gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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