is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
