He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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