I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
