It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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