i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
