Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
