what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
