oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
