I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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