ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
