He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
