is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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