well you can't waste a boner
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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