take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
