she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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