I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
