She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
