gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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