It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
