I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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