i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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