uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
