Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
