She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
