So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
