Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
